On behalf of all of us here at Blessed Sacrament Church we offer to you, and your loved ones, our condolences on your loss.
Loss is never easy, especially when a family member or friend dies. For some, the death of our loved one and friend comes as a shock and we are unsure of what needs to happen and what must happen. Even when a long illness precedes their death, when that moment comes it is hard to accept and fathom this loss. It is at this time of pain that we need the consolation and strength that only God can give.
The Roman Catholic Church provides moments of Sacrament, Prayer and Grace in the Funeral Rites that are used for the praying for the soul of the deceased person and the strengthening of the family and friends.. Whether it is the Vigil for the Deceased (the Wake), a Funeral Mass, a Room Service or a Burial, the Church in the Funeral Rites has set texts that are used during these various moments of prayer.
Every Funeral is a solemn occasion of remembering, giving thanks for, and praying for the person who has died. At the Wake there will be sadness and grief. Yet there can also be laughter at remembering those happy events when our loved one and friend touched our lives in so many ways. The Funeral Mass is a time of Sacrament and Prayer. It is the fullest expression of the Church in praying for the repose of the soul of those who have died. Sometimes, because of circumstances, a Room Service or just a Burial takes place. We will work with you to make sure that the Funeral Rites of the Church are appropriate to your wishes and circumstances.
Over the next few pages you will see helpful information concerning the planning of the Funeral here at Blessed Sacrament Church. You can always call us if you do not find the answers to your questions among the following information.
The Clergy of Blessed Sacrament Parish
The Funeral Rites at Blessed Sacrament Church
Introduction:
The purpose of these pages is to provide you with an overview of the Funeral Rites of the Roman Catholic Church and the particular polices of Blessed Sacrament Church, regarding a Funeral for your loved one and friend. Please read through them carefully and refer to them often as you finalize your plans for the Funeral Rites here at Blessed Sacrament. If there are any questions, or if you find that some aspect of the Funeral is not covered here, please feel free to contact us. Our number can be found on page one of this booklet.
What is the first step:
When a loved one or friend dies it is important to find out if they expressed any wishes concerning their Funeral. Some people write down their wishes, others leave it up to their family or friends. No matter what is the case the first step is to contact a Funeral Home where you can make an appointment to speak with a professional Funeral Director who will guide you through the process. It is that Funeral Director who will contact Blessed Sacrament Church about the arrangements that are desired. It is only on the rare occasion, and under very specialized circumstances, that we will deal directly with family members about having a Funeral here at Blessed Sacrament. The Funeral Director contacts Blessed Sacrament Church to arrange the day and time of the Funeral.
The Vigil for the Deceased ( the Wake) :
If you desire to have a Wake for your loved one or friend the Funeral Director will have informed us. Generally, if the Wake is during the Afternoon and Evening hours the priest or deacon will come to pray the Prayers (The Vigil for the Deceased) at about 3:00pm in the afternoon. The three o’clock hour is known as the Hour of Divine Mercy in the Roman Catholic Church. If the Wake is only being held during the Evening hours the priest will come about 7:30pm. Right after the Prayers are concluded, the priest or deacon will ask you about the Funeral Mass (if there is to be one).
The Funeral Mass:
If a Funeral Mass has been decided upon the priest, who has officiated at the Vigil for the Deceased (the Wake), will ask you if you desire to have family members or friends proclaim the Scriptural Readings at the Mass. We ask you to remember that a Funeral Mass can be an emotional time for some people who are experiencing a loss. Please be sensitive to this as the person you pick may not be able to handle this task emotionally. It is important that if you have readers (it is not necessary that you do), that they be able to clearly express the beauty of the Scripture Readings. If you decide that you would prefer not to have readers, the priest will do the Scripture Readings. Also, at the Funeral Mass you are able, if you wish, to have two people present the Offertory Gifts (hosts and the wine), after the Prayer of the Faithful is prayed. The Offertory Table is placed in front of the first pew with the Offertory Gifts on them. You can choose to have the Offertory gifts already placed on the Altar.
Sometimes people wonder if a Funeral Mass is different than Mass they would attend on a Sunday. It is not. The same Mass is taking place. Of course, the prayers which the priest prays are particular to a Funeral Mass, but the prayers, responses, actions and gestures of the congregation are the same as a Sunday Mass.
Here at Blessed Sacrament we do not allow the giving of a eulogy in Church.
In the Archdiocese of New York, for at least the last twenty years, the Archbishop of New York has left this decision to the Pastor of each individual Parish. The Eulogy, if it is allowed in a Funeral Mass, is meant to be a recounting of the Faith Life of the person who has died. Unfortunately, many times when we hear a eulogy, in Church, it recounts the cooking ability of the person, the vacations they took, the night life or movies they enjoyed, the sports they played, the books they read, good times (and sometimes the bad times) with the family or friends, drug or alcohol abuse, past or recent relationships, etc. etc. etc. All of this can be spoken about during the Wake, at the Cemetery or at the meal after the burial, not in the Church. The priest who is celebrating the Funeral Mass will ask about your loved one or friend and seek to mention a word about their Faith Life.
We humbly remind you that only those who are Roman Catholic are able to receive Holy Communion in the Roman Catholic Church. At the same time only those Roman Catholics, who are in a State of Grace (having gone to the Sacrament of Confession), are able to receive Holy Communion at any Mass. If you, or the members of your family, are unable to receive Holy Communion, please spend those moments during the distribution of Holy Communion as a time of praying for the repose of the soul of your loved one.
Music at the Funeral Mass:
Music is a very important part of the Funeral Mass. The Church gives guidelines for this, stressing that not all music, even if it is popular, is suitable for use in the Church. You are asked to remember that a Roman Catholic Funeral is not just “your Funeral” but rather the Church praying for the repose of the Soul of the person who has died and the strengthening of their family and friends. All of the music played at a Funeral should reflect the dignity and reverence of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Music from secular sources, Broadway musicals or popular songs the deceased might have liked would be more effectively used at the Wake, in a secular setting
Our church organist would be happy to discuss the music for the Funeral. You can contact Blessed Sacrament Church and the organist will call you as soon as possible. Should you desire to bring in your own organist, singer, or other musician, please discuss this with us at least two days before the Funeral. Normally we provide these for you. Since our Organist\Music Director is a paid professional, a visiting organist, singer or other musician is only able to play one selection during the Funeral.
The Burial:
The priest, once the Funeral Mass is over will accompany you to the Cemetery for the Burial of your loved one and friend. We must admit that there are rare occasions when the priest will not be able to do so. These situations arise when there are multiple Funerals on the same day and there is only one priest available to do them all. You will be notified before the day of the Mass, by the Funeral Director, if this rare situation arises. Also we are not able to go to Cemeteries that are located out on Long Island, above Westchester County or in another State.
A Room Service:
Sometimes families decide that they would prefer to have a Room Service instead of a Funeral Mass. We leave that decision up to the family and friends of the deceased. The Roman Catholic Church provides set prayers and Scripture Readings for a Room Service. The Funeral Director that you have chosen will notify Blessed Sacrament Church of your choice. If the deceased is to be buried after the Room Service the priest will accompany you to the Cemetery.
If you only want a Burial:
If you only want a Burial for your loved one and friend, the priest from Blessed Sacrament would be privileged to accompany you to the Cemetery and pray the Rite of Committal (the Prayers for the Burial of a deceased person). Please let the Funeral Director know your decision and they will get in contact with Blessed Sacrament Church.
What comes next:
In whatever way we can, we are here to help you to the best of our ability. Think about if you would like Readers for the Scripture Readings, two individuals to bring up the Offertory Gifts, if there is to be a Eulogy where it will take place (Wake, Cemetery or meal after the Burial). Of most importance is the Mass and it being celebrated with reverence and devotion.